Personally, I would check with the person I'm in a relationship with to see what they consider to be cheating. If they are not okay with you having a one-on-one coffee or dinner with a friend or coworker of the gender you're attracted to, then you decide which is more important to you: your relationship or your freedom to have coffee or dinner with whomever you want. Also, I feel like you ended up causing more hurt to M by not breaking up with him when you met Shawn, even though your goal was the opposite, but of course you were younger back then. I like your articles, though. Keep it up!